This is the most complete list of Chuck Norris Facts on the Internet


Section 1: Geography/Places


1. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
2. All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

3. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
4. Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.

5. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
6. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

7. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
8. Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

9. Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
10. Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

11. Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.
12. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

13. Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
14. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

15. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
16. For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.

17. For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.
18. For Spring Break '06, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

19. If Chuck Norris lost his way, it would apologize
20. If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Follow up:

21. In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

22. One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
23. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a ‘Delta Force’ marathon on Satellite TV.

24. Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
25. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

26. The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
27. The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.

28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
29. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

30. Chuck Norris always has the right of way
31. Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

32. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
33. Chuck Norris knows how to pronounce Cthulhu. However, if he says Cthulhu in the correct pronunciation, several Turkmenistanian virgins will be sacrificed to Loki.

34. Chuck Norris lives in Texas, with his wife and 874 Vietnamese slave children.
35. Chuck Norris went scuba diving a few weeks ago off the coast of Australia. A Great White died from a Chuck Norris attack that day.

36. In some states Chuck Norris must remain naked due to concealed weapon laws.
37. One day when Chuck Norris was driving through Alaska, his semi broke down, so he carried it to a repair shop, in Colorado.

38. The Bubonic Plague was Chuck Norris's way of saying "I hate England."
39. The Eiffel Tower was originally built by Chuck Norris out of the scrap metal in his back yard, as a monument to his manhood. When he got 12, he decided the monument didn't quite live up to what it was supposed to represent, and did the only appropriate thing. He gave it to the French.

40. The world was flat until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it, which made it curl up into a ball. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks tend to do that.
41. There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

42. This entire galaxy and even the universe itself is just a speck of dust in the beard of a greater, cosmic Chuck Norris.
43. When Chuck Norris had his first erection he accidentally put a hole in the ozone layer.

44. While not officially a diplomat, Chuck Norris has his own seat at the United Nations. He walked into the building by accident in 1992 and sat down in a seat reserved for the representative from Denmark, who chose to sit Indian style rather than risk asking him to leave.


Plenty more Chuck in these other sections:


Section 2: Chuck & History - 47 Entries


Section 3: Chuck & Entertainment - 115 Entries


Section 4: Chuck & Art and Literature - 60 Entries


Section 5: Chuck & Science and Nature - 135 Entries


Section 6: Chuck & Sports and Leisure - 74 Entries


Section 7: Chuck & Religion - 35 Entries


Section 8: Chuck & Sex - 70 Entries


Section 9: Chuck & Bodily Functions - 100 Entries


Section 10: Chuck & Finance - 15 Entries


Section 11: Chuck & Education - 17 Entries


Section 12: Chuck & Food and Drink - 79 Entries


Section 13: Chuck; Just Killin' - 57 Entries


Got any new ones?